The Journey To Loving Myself

"Love yourself fully, deeply, honestly, faithfully, gloriously. Because that's who you'll be spending the rest of your life with."

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Two years ago, I decided it was time to start loving myself. And not just the superficial version of self-love, like eating healthier and going for walks. It was really time to start loving who I am as a person and everything that I am inside and outside, wholeheartedly.

Like so many people, I was tired of constantly comparing my life to others on social media and as a result of this, putting myself down. I wanted to just be happy. At the age of 21, I thought my life would be amazing and i'd be making all these memories but that wasn't the reality. I left those memories behind at university and struggled to move on. I was studying a masters degree in a city where I was all alone. Enough was enough. I had to accept that my undergraduate years were over and accept that I was going to be moving back home. I deserved to be happy and this needed to start by loving myself. And I mean TRULY loving myself. Not loving myself when I achieved something and then going back to square one.

I didn't realise it at the time, but a series of subconscious choices had just been made.

To start living up to my own potential. To start saying positive affirmations to myself. To forgive myself when things went wrong. To start living my truth.

So I though i'd share my journey to loving myself. Hoping this can help some of you.

1. To let go of the past.

University was over. I graduated. Started my Masters degree in another city. All alone. For the longest time I couldn't accept that and kept wishing I was an undergrad student again, making memories with my friends and going out as and when I pleased. This triggered feelings of anger, frustration and left me dwelling in the past. I just could not get over it. But eventually I had to move on. Although I was studying for the first time all alone, I spent more time with myself and figured out what my passion was. Good things started to come my way. I began blogging for the university and achieved my first distinction on an assignment. I started realising my passion. Slowly but surely, I began to let go, live in the moment and love myself for all that I was and became.

2. Take care of yourself.

If there's one thing I want you to take away from this post is to take care of yourself. It's so important. This can include: eating healthier, drinking water, going for a walk, having alone time. When we take care of ourselves, we're likely to see improvements in many aspects of our lives including mental and physical health. Living away from home meant I had to take care of myself as no one else would. This has continued to present day. For example, I hydrate myself throughout the day, limit social media usage and have alone time in the evenings. This has made me realise that taking care of myself will result in me loving myself that bit more.

3. Stop caring about what other people think.

You're not living somebody else's life. You're living your own. So why not live it the way YOU want to and stop caring what other people think? As a kid and teenager, I cared a lot about what others thought which prevented me from doing a lot and finding out who I was. Once I got to university, I saw people doing what they wanted which motivated me to just go for it. How I stopped caring what people thought was a) accepting that this is me and my life b) thinking about the worst case scenario c) spending less time with negative people and d) accepting that not everyone will like me. If I continued to care, I wouldn't have grown and experienced so many amazing things. I wouldn't have found out my likes/dislikes and wouldn't have become open minded. I wouldn't have known who I am and wouldn't have loved every part of myself.

4. Practice gratitude.

Studies have shown that the moment you start appreciating what you have, you'll feel more contempt with life and happier as a person. Every morning I wake up and thank God for at least one thing i'm grateful for. Today it was being grateful for living with my parents because one day, I won't be able to. Gratitude has made me appreciate the little things and most importantly, being alive. This has contributed the most on my journey to loving myself because it shows me that worldly things are not as significant. To stop taking simple things like food for granted. Once you realise that, you'll find peace within yourself.

5. Do what you love.

You'll hear this over and over again but it's SO true. Instead of wasting precious years, invest your time in something that's important to you and that you love doing. For me, it was giving advice to people on topics I was very passionate about and what I believed how life can be. This lead to the launch of this blog (yay!), my current job after graduating and volunteering for my postgraduate university. I was also given the opportunity last summer to be LIVE on my local radio station where I spoke about self-help/care, following your passion and overcoming anxiety 💜. I've become a happier person since.

6. Eliminate toxic relationships.

Like motivational speaker Jay Shetty says "You don't let go of a bad relationship because you stop caring about them, you let go because you started caring about yourself". I had a relationship which caused me nothing but pain, discomfort, unease and abuse. It got worse at university when I started doing what I felt was right and that person didn't like any of it. In May 2018 I had enough. I made the decision to eliminate that toxic relationship from my life. This was very challenging. Along the way people thought I was being stubborn and immature but the wound was so deep I couldn't hold onto that relationship. I've discovered who I am and love myself when that person didn't. Don't hold onto relationships because you're scared of letting go.

7. Retrain your thoughts into thinking positively.

Being surrounded by negative people constantly is draining. I'm still in that situation and nothing I say or do will make people think positively. There comes a time where you have to make a decision: Shall I live my life negatively like these people? Or Shall I live positively and allow positive thoughts? Remember you shouldn't feel the need to become like those you're surrounded with. Allowing positive thoughts has made me happier and has impacted every area of my life. People started to notice and i'm attracted to people who are positive. It's made me who I am and I love myself for it.

But self-love is a process, one that will take time. There will always be more ways that I can improve and you can too. And you need to constantly be reminding yourself that yes i'm flawed in certain ways, but that's what makes me human. Yes my life isn't perfect but guess what, no one's is. Remember we can only see what people choose for us to see. I am beautiful and I deserve love.

I am still on the journey to loving myself. But I can honestly say that I love myself more than ever, and I will come to love myself more deeply in the future.

What is really important in this journey of loving yourself is..

I am enough.