Opening up about my anxiety

Anxiety is something many people now suffer with because we are constantly go go go and don't give ourselves a break. I didn't think I would write a post on anxiety but like many people, I've had anxiety - I still do but its not as bad. I didn't know why I was constantly feeling anxious, worrying and guilty until I googled the symptoms. I've had it for years but didn't expect it to have calmed down.

My anxiety developed at the beginning of high school (maybe earlier) where I remember constantly thinking about the subject drama and how I didn't want to act in front of my tutor group. I thought it was normal worrying every day about the same thing but now, I realised it was unnecessarily worrying. It got to the point where I didn't want to go to school that day and made up excuses. In high school I would always hand my homework in on time (heck even earlier) and work was always completed. This wasn't me being a nerd, I just felt like something really bad would happen if I didn't do it. Two years later when it came to my A-Level exams, me and my friend used to revise in the university library. I was constantly doing practice essays and didn't stop until I knew everything inside out. Do you see how this all links?

Then came university when my anxiety was getting deeper. I realised that i've always had a strict routine - everything had to be done by a specific time and if an assignment needed to be completed, I would begin doing it the day it was released. Again, I would submit it days before the deadline and my friends thought I was crazy. Did anyone else constantly be thinking about things? I felt like I couldn't think about anything else or just enjoy the day. Fast forward to my masters (this yr) where my anxiety levels increased. I was waking up at 6:30am (even earlier) every day including weekends so I could exercise. By the end of the day I was shattered and remember speaking to my friends about it who asked me why I couldn't wake up later and exercise. You know I told you how i've always had a strict routine? Yup that's it. I felt like I couldn't get out of it.

However, I came out of that routine when I moved back home. Things started to seem somewhat normal again. But that didn't last long.  It wasn't until a few months ago where my anxiety took a toll on me. This was due to the realisation that I needed to apply to jobs and figure out a career. I began waking up early again because now I had more to do other than a dissertation. Feelings of tiredness returned, loss of appetite and my relationships were being affected. I didn't experience these things on a deeper scale before so this was quite overwhelming.

 Now I feel a lot better alhamdulillah and have learnt   to deal with it. Taking one day off a week helps too!   You reach a stage where you have to do something   about it. Whether that's visiting your GP, reading   information online or talking to someone - just do it.  I was in a book shop yesterday and as my eyes     were scanning the room, I saw 'The Anxiety Journal'  by Psychologist Corinne Sweet. My friend   instantly told  me to buy it. I've only read a few   pages and it seems so real. Let me know if you want   a book review 😉

 Remember life is too short to constantly be worrying  about things. You WILL feel better. I promise💕